Its been a whole Year!

(This is not my car! Just a picture I found of a car crash)

It has been a year ago today that I got in my car accident. I have been car-less now for an entire year!!!

Being car-less has taught me a lot!  I have learned to do without a lot of things!  I have learned to enjoy being at my house and celebrating the simple things in life, and I have learned to be grateful for what I have.

This past year I have had to walk or rely on family if I needed or wanted to go anywhere!  My kids have been such troopers!  They have been right there with me as we walked to and from school, to the grocery store, to the doctors office, to and from Soccer games and practices, they even walked with me to register for my college classes. I

I have heard very few complaints (in fact I have heard them complain more when we actually get in a car because someone is touching someone and Kiana is boy trapped.) Walking is actually the more peaceful way to travel!

There is no way I could have gotten through this year without the help of family and friends!  There have been some instances that walking was completely out of the question (snow, rain, or to far of a distance) My parents, and Jeremy's Dad have been so willing to help assist me!  There have been instances of emergency and dear friends have allowed me to borrow a vehicle to get me where I needed to go!

Also I have been so appreciative of people being willing to come to my house for play dates and visits!  It has been such a blessing to have friends that are so understanding!

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that not having a car has been the most amazing experience of my life.  Because it has been hard, and even today I have felt frustration about my lack of transportation.  There have been days that I have cried, because all I wanted to do was take my kids out to a museum or take a drive to the canyon. I have had days I have needed groceries or maybe a gift for a birthday party and I have felt irritated inside that I couldn't just go and get one.

I know in life there are lesson's to be learned in every experience! This experience is no different.  I have learned many lesson's and I'm continuing to learn more everyday!  I have had to become organized in my grocery shopping and list making.  Knowing that if I forget something at the store I can't just go back to get it has made a huge difference in my planning!  I have learned that I don't need to go anywhere to have fun with my kids!  We do fun activities every single day here at our house.  I have saved so much money because we don't go out very often.  When we do go out it is special.  Like the other day we walked to Taco Bell and stopped by at the local pet store.  The kids were so excited you would have thought we were going to Disneyland.

I feel like the kids and I have become closer.  We are always together, and the walks we go on to go places are filled with conversation.  The 5 minute drive to school is now a 15 minute walk the conversations we have had on the way to and from school are ones I will cherish!

I don't know when I will be getting a vehicle.  It could be in 2 weeks or maybe 2 years (I'm hoping closer to the 2 weeks) but, until that time I will continue to do my best to be patient and to learn the valuable lesson's I need to learn each and everyday!

Potato Chips

Desmond and his Potato Chips

The other night while Desmond was enjoying some potato chips, I hear him yell " Mom I found a horse" totally confused I turned around to see him holding up a potato chip he thought looked like a horse.  Throughout the rest of the evening he kept pulling out different potato chips and telling me what he thought they looked like.  Above are pictures of the Horse Chip, a Rock, and a Caterpillar.  Can you figure out which one is which?

I find it so interesting how each of us can look at the same thing and see something completely different.  Perspective is very unique!  

I probably would have grabbed the chip that Desmond thought was a horse and looked at it with disappointment, thinking to myself (crappy chip its all messed up!) But, my little Desmond saw this chip and was so excited he had found a really cool chip, a chip that looked like a horse (at least he thought it looked like a horse, Karston thought it looked like teeth)

I'm going to do my best this week to keep a positive perspective on things.  When life hands me or those around me a weird looking chip.  I'm not going to look at it with disappointment but, try to look for its uniqueness and beauty.  I'm going to be happy with whatever I grab out of the bag this week!  Let's see how it goes! 

You have to Learn how to crawl!!

My sweet little Kendrick is coming up on his First Birthday!  I can't believe how fast time has gone by!

Well, Kendrick refuses to crawl!  He cries, and puts on this sad little show every single time I lay him down on his tummy! He totally has it down and can make himself look so pathetic!  Whenever I put him down and allow him to try to crawled one of the older kids walk in the room, they give me the hardest time about how I am torturing their brother.  How I need to go and pick him up.  They have even walked over to him and picked him up and commiserated with him.  Its horrible!

Well tonight the kids were gone and my Parents came over, I told my Mom about my situation.  Most of my kids were walking by this time and this little man won't even crawl!  My Mom asked if I pick him up every time he puts on his sad face.  I said No, I usually let him cry a little while. She gave me a look like (Karli I know you just pick him up) Then my Dad took Kendrick from me went across the room and put him down on his tummy.

The poor child started screaming, rubbing his eyes, giving just the performance of his life.  I sat across the room snapping my fingers, pounding on the ground anything I could to get his attention.  I knew if he just looked at me and saw I wasn't that far away he would calm down a little.

Well, a few minutes past and I was about to go and pick up my poor baby (I felt like crying by this point) and my Mom stopped me.  She said Karli don't pick him up!  Let him do this!  You know and I know he can do this.  So I stepped back and sure enough that little boy crying the whole way, army crawled across the room into my arms.

As soon as I picked him up the crying stopped and he snuggled right into me.  You could tell he was worn out not only from army crawling but, from all the crying and emotions he was expressing so loudly as he made his way across the room!

My Mom looked at me and said Karli your just going to have to let him cry and he will be crawling in no time.

After my parents left and I put Kendrick down for bed I started to think (surprised I know I seem to psycho analyze everything)

I thought about how Heavenly Father and Mother are a perfect example of teaching a child how to "Crawl" I thought about the many times I have prayed to have a burden lifted from me because it seemed to hard to bear!  I thought about the times when I wanted so badly for someone to enable me and take away the situation I was in.

But, Heavenly Father knows better then to just pick us up!  He knows we can do hard things and sometimes it takes a couple of days of crying (or maybe months) until we figure out we can do this and then move on toward the next challenge.

One of the lessons  I thought of as I was watching Kendrick move across the floor was while I was watching him try to crawl to me  I thought to myself "Man, if he would just stop crying he could focus more and crawl so much easier.  Also this would become a positive situation rather then a struggle"

Wow, that hit me like a slap in the face.  Man, I just need to stop crying (not literally I'm not crying all the time) about my problems but, how much easier it would be to focus on the situation at hand and use all my energies toward accomplishing and overcoming the situation if I just stopped crying.  I need to be happy about the situation and it will not only bless my life but, those who are around me.

Then finally when I reach the end of my Journey and I can reach out and touch the Hands of my Heavenly Father I know he will be so proud of me I know I will feel that same security Kendrick felt when I picked him up.

The Gospel truly teaches us how to become better parents and better people!  I am so thankful for these daily lessons I learn from the small and simple things in my life!

Protection

This is a picture of Karston at the Local Zoo.  We went their and visited for Kiana's Birthday this year.  This picture is the backdrop to my computer so I look at it often.

Today as I was looking at this picture I started to think about how playful and cute those tigers looked!  I just want to pet one.  Karston looks like he could just stretch forth his hand and touch one on the head.  What a thrill that would be.  

Then I thought about the layer of glass that was between Karston and the 4 tigers on the other side.  This glass was put their for his protection and made it possible for him to be with these tigers but, be safe and protected.  Even tho those tigers look soft and cuddly and fun to play with.  They are dangerous and could literally eat you alive.  

As I thought about this picture and how close Karston is to those tigers a quote came to me "Be in the world but, not of it" 

What type of glass do I have that is protecting me and my family from the "Tigers" of our world?  Have I put up a barrier that would stop a ferocious beast from hurting my family?   I know that each and everyday I need to put up a wall of protection around my little family.  I know this includes and is not limited to; family prayer, scripture study, family fun time, and quality one on one time with each of my children.

I know there are so many "Tigers" in our lives and often they look cuddly and fun to play with. That is why I will be doing my best to teach my kids about the dangers in this world and for as long as I can put up that wall of protection between them and the "Tigers"  My hope is as they grow they will learn to do this on their own and they will learn "To be in the world but, not of it"

My child swallowed WHAT???

This past week and a half have been somewhat out of control!  My youngest was Hospitalized and emergency transported to a children's hospital.  No parent wants to see their child suffering.  At the Hospital I went through so many emotions.  I felt scared then positive about a full recovery, then 10 seconds later I would feel overwhelmed and then helpless.  It was nothing short of a roller coaster of emotions.

As you can see from the pictures above.  My little man swallowed a clothes pin.  I know its hard to imagine!  But, the Doctors said if it can fit through a toilet paper roll you baby can swallow it!  This thought is insane to me!  To make a long story short....really short I tend to go on and on.  Kendrick is home and is recovering now.

I didn't sleep much at the hospital, Kendrick and I were there for 5 nights.  The other kids stayed with my parents and Romney and Kirstin (a big thank you to all of you!) So to say the least I was pretty exhausted when I got home.  I was so thankful for my sister who had come to my house and folded all my laundry (Kira you are a Saint) but, even with that help I walked into my house and wanted to cry.  I felt overwhelmed with the condition my home was in.  I just wanted to lay down but, knew I couldn't.  I was kinda freaked out about anything on the floor that could fit through a toilet paper roll.

So that night the kids returned home (it was so good to see them I missed them so much)  Then I put them all to bed.  Kendrick went to sleep around 11pm then, I started the overhaul of my house.  I was up until 3:00am cleaning.  When I finally laid down, Kendrick woke up.  I wanted to cry (actually I think I was crying) but, you gotta do what you gotta do.  I went into Kendrick's room and rocked my poor sick baby back to sleep.

I did get a hour of sleep after putting Kendrick down and before Karston and Desmond got up.  Later on that morning my mom called and I felt so bad I really was snappy at her on the phone.  She told me she thought I probably should have gone to bed and waited to clean.  Me in my irrationalness got irritated and got off the phone with her.  I sat down and thought to myself, I knew she was right.  I just, well when I get so tired I don't function well.  I don't prioritize and I tend to obsess over the small stuff.

So the last few nights I have done my best to get a proper amount of sleep (with some help from Tylenol PM) I feel like I'm getting back to the normal Karli.

I've accomplished a lot since I have been home, my website is up and running check it out www.anexcusetocelebrate.com, my preschool classes are filling up, I've registered for Fall Semester at UVU, My house is clean, My lawn is mowed, My kids are fed and Happy, Kendrick is doing better each and everyday, and last but, not least I'm no longer the crazy sleepless lady I was a couple days ago!!

Thank you so much to everyone who kept Kendrick in their prayers the past week!  I can't thank you enough!   

I'm NOT a runner!

I'm NOT a runner!  I don't have the genetics, the strength, or any natural ability when it comes to running.  I run because it is hard and I want to prove to myself I can do hard things.

Some of you are aware that I have taken on the challenge of running.  This is no easy task for me, I'm not good at running.  I run a little funny, I'm not fast, and I have to work hard every single run (there is no such thing as a easy run for me.)

Because of my GBS when I was younger my left leg is a lot weaker/smaller than my right leg and it causes me a lot of difficulty when I am running.  If you watch me run, a lot of the times it looks like I am dragging my left leg behind me.  I get asked a lot if I twisted a ankle, or if my knee hurts? I often times just agree with people saying, "yes my ankle hurts or my knee is sore" just not wanting to go into the details of my life (I know that is horrible.)

Today while running my left leg totally gave up on me.  I find this so frustrating!!!  My poor right leg takes on all the weight.  With each step I felt my left leg give, at one time almost tripping.  I didn't want my sister to know what was going on because I wanted to be her encourager and strength for her first race.  So I continued on knowing I could make it through till the end of the race.

I have been running a lot lately and participating in whatever race I can.  This was the first time I truly felt like my left leg had given up.  I just didn't want anyone to know.  I hate feeling different, or having anyone feel bad for me.

Before I knew it we were at the finish line and I was so proud of my sister she beat her best time!  I was so glad that I could be there with her.  I felt pretty good by the end of the race.  I was able to keep a good pace despite some of my challenges.

It wasn't until later on today I realized what I had done.  My poor right leg is so sore!! My right knee and foot are totally swollen. I somehow over compensated for my weak leg with my strong leg.  But, because of that act I now have 2 weak legs.

Tonight instead of going to my parents house for 4th of July dinner I sat at home thinking about how I'm going to fix my legs so I can run tomorrow?  What had I done?  I felt so frustrated at myself, frustrated that my left leg is weak and frustrated that I had hurt my strong side.

Then because my mind is weird I started to think about how this lesson applied to my life.  How many times in my life have I overcompensated for something?  Are there weaknesses in my life I don't want anyone to know about? Do I hide them?, overcompensating for my weak side, with my strengths.  Do we all do this?.  Does this act help anything?  Does making up the lack make things better or only hurt you in the end?

I have found in my life that when I try to overcompensate for things rather then just focusing on the problem.  Things don't ever get better, in fact I cause myself a lot more work.  This usually results in feeling hurt, and disappointed.

I know the answer when it comes to my legs.  I need to focus my attention on my weaknesses, strengthening my left side.  Yes, it will be embarrassing going to the gym and allowing people around me to see that I'm not as strong as I have allowed people to think.  It will be hard, because this is a weakness and it will require dedication and patience.  I really am nervous to show this weakness.  I like people thinking I have overcome this problem already.

I'm going to do the same thing in my personal and emotional/mental status.  I need to focus my attentions on my weaknesses.  Knowing sometimes that will make me vulnerable, and those around me will see my weaknesses.  But, in so doing my weaknesses will soon become strengths and then I will be able to stand up and truly say with conviction "I can do hard things"

So bring on the Marathon, here I come.

The Cake

Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out!

This past week was Kiana's Birthday.  It has been a fun filled week!  It all started last Sunday when we celebrated Kiana's Birthday with my family.  Kiana told me she wanted a rainbow cake.  So I went online and found this AMAZING rainbow cake.  It looked simple enough but, as I started reading the directions the recipe called for a lot of things I did not have.  I figured I could finagle my way around things.

So my cake making adventure began.  I decided a four layer cake would be perfect.  Kiana helped me pick the colors she liked the most.  As we started I felt confident I knew I could pull this cake off without a hitch (at least I thought)  So I put the first two layers in the oven and started making the 3rd and 4th layers.  Then the Home Teachers came over.  Great Lesson but, during their time here my first two layers finished baking. a I didn't want to seem rude, so I quickly grabbed the cake from out of the oven and set them on top of the stove.  Knowing in my gut if I didn't flip them out now they were going to stick and then I would have a real problem.

But, I went back and finished the lesson with the Home Teachers.  If you can really call it a lesson when Desmond is running around like a crazy person and the other kids are acting really weird.  To put it in plain terms I was fully embarrassed by the time the Home Teachers left and wanted to send all four of my children home with the Home Teachers (but, with the way the kids were acting I know they wouldn't have taken them)  

So now being a bit frazzled I went back into the kitchen and attempted to release the cake from the pans.  Right when I flipped the first cake I felt it, it had totally stuck.  I wanted to cry because I had to be at my parents house in less them 45 minutes.  I took a deep breath and flipped out the other cake.  Again it stuck!!! Another deep breath and maybe some not so good thoughts about the cake. Okay I thought to myself  I still have 2 other layers.  If worst comes to worse I will just do 2 layers.

The next two layers came out perfect!!! I started to assemble the cake.  The cake was still hot so I knew the icing was going to melt.  But, I had no choice!  I wanted to cry the whole time I was putting the cake together.  It looked so horrible!!!!  The icing was dripping off the cake.  The layers looked uneven.  I seriously  contemplated throwing the whole cake away.   The cake looked horrific!!!

So my Grandpa came to my house to pick the kids and I up to go to my parents home.  My Grandpa is so sweet and looked at my cake and said "Karli Sue, the cake looks wonderful"  I said "Grandpa I know the cake looks scary"  he chuckled and said something about how it all goes in and out the same way.  Well, I was still mortified by my cake fiasco.  We get to my parents and I bring the cake right upstairs.  I asked my if she had any whipping cream.  She said she did and we would fix the cake after dinner.

So after dinner we brought up the problem cake.  My mom made some whipping cream and covered the cake.  It looked perfect!  

After singing Happy Birthday we cut into the cake and I was so pleased!  It looked AWESOME and Kiana loved it!  It was funny all the things that I thought were going to ruin the cake actually made it better.  The icing that I had put on the cake melted into the cake making it insanely moist and gave it a really rich flavor. The whipping cream gave the cake a light feeling not weighted down by to much frosting.  No one said anything about the layers being uneven.  The cake that I was about to throw in the garbage ended up being Kiana's favorite part of the day!!

I learned a valuable lesson on patience, not giving up, and humility.  Its okay if things don't turn out perfect or the way we envision it!  Because in the end its what we make of it!  I could turn this into a big analogy how what is on the outside doesn't matter.  What counts is what is on the inside.  But, I'm not going to today because today the lesson I needed was to make the best out of what you got and on Sunday I did that with Kiana's Birthday cake.  Tomorrow I'm going to see if I can do it with my life!